Daddy, Uncle
Good Deeds by Good People
I think people may read this and say boy you had it bad, that once your mom died you didn’t have a chance in hell. That isn’t exactly true. I did get a chance but I was too immature to know it. With that thought it dawned on me, that any decision you make is yours (even if you are too young to make it).
I am not a product of my circumstances; I am a product of my decisions – Stephen Covey
My mother died in 1972. In 1974, when I was in the 5th grade, Mr. ELSJ2 came down from Michigan to Chicago. I don’t recall any pre-planning or hearing anything about it, so I was totally not expecting it when he took me, my brother 4 years younger than me, and my brother who is 4 years older than me back to Michigan to live with him.
Mr. ELSJ2, originally a GA. Boy, relocated from Chicago to Michigan after he and my mother split. He moved there to work in the automobile industry. We relocated there and stayed in his 3-bedroom home. And oh, how us 3 bitched and moaned about how we wanted to go back to Egypt, I mean Chicago, but he didn’t care for he knew we were where we should have been. With him.
Present day, I think he must have really loved my mother for he saw fit to come back to Chicago to get her 3 youngest to make sure they were okay. I remember when my oldest brother graduated high school in 1970, he came from Michigan then too. He took him to Lansing Michigan for his prom tuxedo.
What I do not remember is ever living in a home with him until 1974. I also don’t remember anything about when their marriage ended. Still, I remember his visits to our house. He always brought donuts. Being one of the youngest in the house, I didn’t have to clean up like the older ones did but I always got some of those assorted variety donuts.
Anyway, us 3 began to settle in with daddy. Then one day he decided to help a friend. To do so, he moved a family of 5 into our 3-bedroom home. Know that us 3 children were still having the propensity to bitch and moan about not wanting to be in Michigan. That friend and his woman listened to us. Mind you, that friend never heard us say ELSJ2 beat us, deprived us of food or wouldn’t clothe us – no abuse just normal.
So this friend of his began to hatch a plan, with us in full tow about how to get us back to Chicago. That put the other end of Chicago back into the fray – there had to be someone there to receive us I suppose. I’m not making this up. There are school records in Michigan that mom’s 3 youngest were there. I have no other words except Stupid Children ended up back in Chicago. And if anything, it shows a child cannot give consent. A child cannot give consent. And that’s not to say all kids are stupid. There were definitely stupid adults there. And there we were, back in Chicago. Mom must have turned.
Anyway, he must have loved us because when I was in the 6th grade, daddy came back again for round 2. This time he came to retrieve me and the baby boy. We 3 were headed out to the car and on a whim, I took off running. I don’t know why, I just did. When I did that, my little brother ran back to the house. He caught me and tackled me by my legs so that I fell to the ground. Not an NFL tackle, just an I caught you one. He then put me in the car and back to Michigan we went. Might I add, the first thing he did when we got there was to buy me a new coat and warm shoes. The middle brother was not in on this trip so it was just me this time. In the 6th grade now, I was going back to finish my last year of elementary school. And while I was with him, we did things such as, went to church. We also travelled to states such as GA., NJ, and Florida. He would cook or we would eat out. And he was a good cook too. Nothing stupid.
One day there was a fire in that 3-bedroom house. Not catastrophic, but it needed work. Therefore, we went to stay with Aunt Drew on Parkland Ave., near the candy store there on North Ave. Anne B., a friend used to look out after me. A woman’s influence you know. One day they had a little spat. That took her out of our lives for a few days. Shortly thereafter he went on a little trip, a trip which takes about a day to do like going to the VA. I was at home by myself at Aunt Drew’s house, who had gone to church or somewhere.
He had given me some silver dollars. He told me to keep them for one day they would be worth something. I took those silver dollars and decided that day, that I would go back to Chicago. Although I thought I was doing something, this is probably one of the saddest decisions of my life. I realize now, that at the age of 10 or 11 that I did not have the right, to give myself the consent, to determine to leave Mr. ELSJ2. This is the father that truly cared for me. He reached to do a solid for his former wife and her children. So as I look back, I did have a chance but I was not looking to the future as daddy was in our present situation.
It was Alzheimer’s. He died in Florida with his sister’s family. I wish he had died with me, with me taking care of him. I’m sorry daddy. To Mr. ELSJ2, army veteran, a black man. You deserved as good as you tried to give. Thank you.
Any decision you make is yours.
Be Wise
I would also like to mention an uncle. Uncle Conrad. You remember the cousins that came to live with us when their mother died? Their father. He lends fond memories to summer’s past. That’s because that’s when he would take us to Riverview and Funtown, the amusement parks on the outskirts of Chicago. As a kid, the drive seemed at least a state away. As well as the drives to the Forest Preserve. He lived within walking distance of us, not around the corner but walking distance. It sure was a treat walking over there with the cousins and sharing lunch with the uncle I most fondly miss. I thank you for the memories, Mr. Conrad H. For McDonald’s on the way to carnival rides and potato salad at the state park. For childhood innocence.