An Account of Abuse

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Child Abuse                                                        Doing something or failing to do something that results in harm to a child
                                                     OR
Puts a child at risk of harm. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, or
Neglect (not providing for a child’s needs) is also abuse.

Be careful of your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words

Be careful of your words
Your words become your actions

Be careful of your actions
Your actions become your habits

Be careful of your habits

Your habits become your character
Be careful of your character

Your character become your destiny
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A childhood can be most negatively impacted when thoughts, because of deeds encroached, are no longer innocent and pure. The pure and innocent childhood thought of, I’m gonna sneak, pillage, and raid those chocolate chip cookies, can be replaced by things a child should not be thinking about.

It becomes the beginning of: A childhood meant to be enjoyed can be destroyed, for we become what we think about and act upon.

I guess you can say there’s an opposite to everything. Yes – No. Good – Bad. Right – Wrong.
Nice – Mean. Safe – Unprotected.

Fair or Unfair. You can explain to a fair parent how you wont ever do such and such again. It builds a positive relationship. You also learn about lying for when you make the “mistake” of doing it again you’ve
opened discussion about lying. Yeah, a parent around to watch your little progress.
But begging an abuser not to beat you is a turn on or a set-up for a beating at a later date. Trust me, I know. This kid, me, just like kids all over the world, would do something she had no business doing.
That gave me consequences to face. I would have to enter the court of Judge Mom, where an eyeful of tears may get you a suspended sentence. Where a belt could become an instrument for a kid to tell a sad story to get out of trouble and emerge victorious.

The differences between fair and unfair will definitely affect your thoughts. Once I no longer had Judge Mom, an eyeful of tears of fear didn’t matter. And for what infractions? For something like her 2yo hiding his shitty drawers that I could not find.

I had come from a place that asked me, Did you write those bad words on the sidewalk? Why did this household ask me that? Because I had no business doing it. But more importantly to be made aware of unacceptable words and how I had better watch my words, both written and spoken. Not a situation to be beaten, but a teaching one.

Those shitty drawers…I was met with the question, Didn’t I tell you to find them? And sometimes I couldn’t. My life went from fair to unfair. To a fat lazy person who wouldn’t even make a bottle for her babies if I were around.

On my next article we will talk about other aspects of child abuse. Not that sexual abuse does not somehow encompass many dimensions of abuse, but for the near 1B children on the earth that’s abused, I’d like to address the different aspects.

It was a beautiful day for the family picnic
With the perfect spot for tables and goodies in the shade
Not far away were the baseball and volleyball fields
And every summer it was where our legends were made

Seven brothers and sisters gave me cousins of all ages
As everyone came trickling in, hugs and high-fives began
Although six of the siblings live in 2 neighboring states
The one that lives across the country was coming and bringing his clan

Grandma was there with her 2 siblings that were still living
Along with her invited guest
And then we saw each other, that cousin I saw twice a year
When we became obsessed with any quest

They had moved away about 5 years ago
The first real day of sadness in my life
We cried really hard as we said our goodbyes
With no forgiveness for parents that we accused of twisting the knife

But there was no sadness that day
As we prepared to do all sorts of things
When all of a sudden, all heads turned
For who showed up next was our family’s Mr. Bling

He and his family drove up in the
Newest and prettiest car in the park
He went to the trunk and pulled out the biggest bouquet of flowers
And put them on the table in front of grandma, hitting yet another mark

The ‘flower’ uncle lived one state over
But because of business tweaks
He, mom and dad saw each other
One or 2 times a week

They sold and delivered to eateries, things from
Durable goods to dishwashing liquid
They worked on a regimen of consistent growth
They were anything but insipid

After making a fuss about grandma, eating,
And making marks on the athletic fields
They really became palsy walsy, as they honed
In on their successful business skills

Come dusk it was time for all to go back
To grandmas for further nibbling
Where we also stuffed the refrigerator with food
With less than stellar positioning

As the evening progressed, the younger ones
Had the outdoors to make noise and play
While the adults played cards and such inside
A great ending for a great day

It was a wonderful evening
With games being played by all
But for the longest time I had been hearing of a game
And was about to see how it could make you fall

3)

Aunts and uncles moved to the patio where
You heard laughter pertaining to childhood infractions
Which progressed into memories of old sweethearts
And both involved parental attractions

In due course, Dad, Flower Uncle and a cousin went
Near the garage where they discussed business things
Soon they were joined by others from our 2 states
As they joined the impromptu meeting

Consequently, I turned my attention to my ‘old’
Cousin who I saw about twice a year
I went over to where grandma was talking to Distant Uncle
When cousin and I made eye contact that said it was time to disappear

His father manages a grocery store
Within one of our nation’s chains
He’s not as dynamic as his brothers and sisters
But it’s alright by me if he stays in his lane

When we meet this way in the summer
We always start with the family picnic
Last year the amusement park, this year the go-cart track
Because it was the dominant pick

When we got there, Dad gave the counter
The tickets, as we made our way in
When I saw Distant Uncle pay for he and his family
I wondered why he had to pay again

4)

We had an amazing day with the go-carts and games
The greatest family get-together I ever had
I couldn’t believe my 10yo cousin cleaned my clock
But I took 15yo cousin to the mat

My ‘old’ Distant Cousin (DC) and I met up with Distant Uncle (DU)
Two 11yos coming off our spectacular Go-Cart excursions
When everyone started to make preparations to get back to home base
Especially us ‘Indy’ drivers who were developing other ‘mischievous’ incursions

That night all the boy cousins got together
And decided the patio is where we would sleep
We started by jumping over the patio table, then a
Farting contest and called that our Leap and Reek

Early in the morning DU was really quiet
As he came out to get DC and his brother to go to the store
I went too and we brought back most any breakfast food you could
Imagine and all ate until they could eat no more

Everyone thanked uncle for the delivery of
The spectacular breakfast spread
His response was he worked an honest
Job every day and wasn’t in the poor house yet

It was met with an eerie silence
From which it seemed no one was immune
But in a few short days I would know what it meant
And we would see UD again and it would be real soon

It was a memorable weekend and everyone
Was beginning to say their so longs
Why do the women have to cry when they do so
Tissues needed to say goodbye, I just think that’s wrong

DU and his brood were the first on the road
For they lived the farthest away
I made sure I was awoke to see them off as DC and I
Fake cried like the women, saying we’ll see each other again someday

I felt both fulfilled and a little sad
Because it was all over in no time
It was now time to reconnect with my regular friends
My 6th grade partners in crime

Me and my longtime friend from kindergarten
Met up for a game of basketball
Then went to get our 99 cent sodas
And that was just our 1st port of call

When in walked our other friend
With his skateboard in his hand
He said, hey man, there are a lot of police cars
At your family’s business and he didn’t understand

I told the 2 of them I had to go to grandma’s
So I can understand why they were there
As I met up with grandma, I noticed her demeanor
As she motioned me to sit in a chair

Usually at grandma’s, it goes something like, go in there
And get something to eat or get out of here and go play
But things were rather quiet as she fidgeted about
Which let me know this was no ordinary day

The ringing of the phone startled us both
As grandma hobbled over to catch the call
It was our uncle from the next state over
Calling to let us know that they too were facing the law

This uncle who has his own landscaping business
Was out and about meeting his obligations when he noticed cops
They had surrounded the location from which we
Obtained connecting lines, refrigeration, and stove tops

At the same time, they were here in our state
Where we house all manner of foodstuff and supplies
The phone kept ringing; our community was abuzz
While granny could only admit to her own surprise

We began to hear things about how law enforcement
Were bringing things to the outside of the store
And how when they began rambling with the section
That held the oils, they discovered an extra hidden drawer

Things were no better in the state with the stove tops
And it didn’t take long as they began to explore
For centered around the refrigeration units were
Packages wrapped in tape with implications you could not ignore

One of the things we discovered was our
Business was on the news
They showed footage on both locations
It was hard taking in “News You Can Use”

I watched Uncle flower sitting in a
Police cruiser, with hands to the rear
And then I saw my dad being led out of our store
Which was quite unbelievable and at the same time, clear

I went out to the patio trying to get things figured out
I wanted it prepared like a computer, a debug
But my mind came to one conclusion:
They were looking for and had found drugs

I went back inside thinking of what to say
To grandma, that would pick us up and sound smart
Then I approached her and looked into eyes that
Tried for calm, but what I saw was a mother’s unsettled heart

As it turned out she was right to be troubled
For they had made it a family affair
Of her 4 sons, 2 were implicated, of her 3 daughters 2 were
And we both felt the fundamental scare

Those siblings were espoused to others
So they may get 2 for 1, upon further review
That was at the forefront of my mind
For I wondered, would they get mom with dad too