An Account of Abuse

---

---

---

         

                                                                               

Child Abuse                                                        Doing something or failing to do something that results in harm to a child
                                                     OR
Puts a child at risk of harm. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, or
Neglect (not providing for a child’s needs) is also abuse.

Be careful of your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words

Be careful of your words
Your words become your actions

Be careful of your actions
Your actions become your habits

Be careful of your habits

Your habits become your character
Be careful of your character

Your character become your destiny
Unknown

A childhood can be most negatively impacted when thoughts, because of deeds encroached, are no longer innocent and pure. The pure and innocent childhood thought of, I’m gonna sneak, pillage, and raid those chocolate chip cookies, can be replaced by things a child should not be thinking about.

It becomes the beginning of: A childhood meant to be enjoyed can be destroyed, for we become what we think about and act upon.

I guess you can say there’s an opposite to everything. Yes – No. Good – Bad. Right – Wrong.
Nice – Mean. Safe – Unprotected.

Fair or Unfair. You can explain to a fair parent how you wont ever do such and such again. It builds a positive relationship. You also learn about lying for when you make the “mistake” of doing it again you’ve
opened discussion about lying. Yeah, a parent around to watch your little progress.
But begging an abuser not to beat you is a turn on or a set-up for a beating at a later date. Trust me, I know. This kid, me, just like kids all over the world, would do something she had no business doing.
That gave me consequences to face. I would have to enter the court of Judge Mom, where an eyeful of tears may get you a suspended sentence. Where a belt could become an instrument for a kid to tell a sad story to get out of trouble and emerge victorious.

The differences between fair and unfair will definitely affect your thoughts. Once I no longer had Judge Mom, an eyeful of tears of fear didn’t matter. And for what infractions? For something like her 2yo hiding his shitty drawers that I could not find.

I had come from a place that asked me, Did you write those bad words on the sidewalk? Why did this household ask me that? Because I had no business doing it. But more importantly to be made aware of unacceptable words and how I had better watch my words, both written and spoken. Not a situation to be beaten, but a teaching one.

Those shitty drawers…I was met with the question, Didn’t I tell you to find them? And sometimes I couldn’t. My life went from fair to unfair. To a fat lazy person who wouldn’t even make a bottle for her babies if I were around.

On my next article we will talk about other aspects of child abuse. Not that sexual abuse does not somehow encompass many dimensions of abuse, but for the near 1B children on the earth that’s abused, I’d like to address the different aspects.

It was a beautiful day for the family picnic
With the perfect spot for tables and goodies in the shade
Not far away were the baseball and volleyball fields
And every summer it was where our legends were made

Seven brothers and sisters gave me cousins of all ages
As everyone came trickling in, hugs and high-fives began
Although six of the siblings live in 2 neighboring states
The one that lives across the country was coming and bringing his clan

Grandma was there with her 2 siblings that were still living
Along with her invited guest
And then we saw each other, that cousin I saw twice a year
When we became obsessed with any quest

They had moved away about 5 years ago
The first real day of sadness in my life
We cried really hard as we said our goodbyes
With no forgiveness for parents that we accused of twisting the knife

But there was no sadness that day
As we prepared to do all sorts of things
When all of a sudden, all heads turned
For who showed up next was our family’s Mr. Bling

He and his family drove up in the
Newest and prettiest car in the park
He went to the trunk and pulled out the biggest bouquet of flowers
And put them on the table in front of grandma, hitting yet another mark

The ‘flower’ uncle lived one state over
But because of business tweaks
He, mom and dad saw each other
One or 2 times a week

They sold and delivered to eateries, things from
Durable goods to dishwashing liquid
They worked on a regimen of consistent growth
They were anything but insipid

After making a fuss about grandma, eating,
And making marks on the athletic fields
They really became palsy walsy, as they honed
In on their successful business skills

Come dusk it was time for all to go back
To grandmas for further nibbling
Where we also stuffed the refrigerator with food
With less than stellar positioning

As the evening progressed, the younger ones
Had the outdoors to make noise and play
While the adults played cards and such inside
A great ending for a great day

It was a wonderful evening
With games being played by all
But for the longest time I had been hearing of a game
And was about to see how it could make you fall

3)

Aunts and uncles moved to the patio where
You heard laughter pertaining to childhood infractions
Which progressed into memories of old sweethearts
And both involved parental attractions

In due course, Dad, Flower Uncle and a cousin went
Near the garage where they discussed business things
Soon they were joined by others from our 2 states
As they joined the impromptu meeting

Consequently, I turned my attention to my ‘old’
Cousin who I saw about twice a year
I went over to where grandma was talking to Distant Uncle
When cousin and I made eye contact that said it was time to disappear

His father manages a grocery store
Within one of our nation’s chains
He’s not as dynamic as his brothers and sisters
But it’s alright by me if he stays in his lane

When we meet this way in the summer
We always start with the family picnic
Last year the amusement park, this year the go-cart track
Because it was the dominant pick

When we got there, Dad gave the counter
The tickets, as we made our way in
When I saw Distant Uncle pay for he and his family
I wondered why he had to pay again

4)

We had an amazing day with the go-carts and games
The greatest family get-together I ever had
I couldn’t believe my 10yo cousin cleaned my clock
But I took 15yo cousin to the mat

My ‘old’ Distant Cousin (DC) and I met up with Distant Uncle (DU)
Two 11yos coming off our spectacular Go-Cart excursions
When everyone started to make preparations to get back to home base
Especially us ‘Indy’ drivers who were developing other ‘mischievous’ incursions

That night all the boy cousins got together
And decided the patio is where we would sleep
We started by jumping over the patio table, then a
Farting contest and called that our Leap and Reek

Early in the morning DU was really quiet
As he came out to get DC and his brother to go to the store
I went too and we brought back most any breakfast food you could
Imagine and all ate until they could eat no more

Everyone thanked uncle for the delivery of
The spectacular breakfast spread
His response was he worked an honest
Job every day and wasn’t in the poor house yet

It was met with an eerie silence
From which it seemed no one was immune
But in a few short days I would know what it meant
And we would see UD again and it would be real soon

It was a memorable weekend and everyone
Was beginning to say their so longs
Why do the women have to cry when they do so
Tissues needed to say goodbye, I just think that’s wrong

DU and his brood were the first on the road
For they lived the farthest away
I made sure I was awoke to see them off as DC and I
Fake cried like the women, saying we’ll see each other again someday

I felt both fulfilled and a little sad
Because it was all over in no time
It was now time to reconnect with my regular friends
My 6th grade partners in crime

Me and my longtime friend from kindergarten
Met up for a game of basketball
Then went to get our 99 cent sodas
And that was just our 1st port of call

When in walked our other friend
With his skateboard in his hand
He said, hey man, there are a lot of police cars
At your family’s business and he didn’t understand

I told the 2 of them I had to go to grandma’s
So I can understand why they were there
As I met up with grandma, I noticed her demeanor
As she motioned me to sit in a chair

Usually at grandma’s, it goes something like, go in there
And get something to eat or get out of here and go play
But things were rather quiet as she fidgeted about
Which let me know this was no ordinary day

The ringing of the phone startled us both
As grandma hobbled over to catch the call
It was our uncle from the next state over
Calling to let us know that they too were facing the law

This uncle who has his own landscaping business
Was out and about meeting his obligations when he noticed cops
They had surrounded the location from which we
Obtained connecting lines, refrigeration, and stove tops

At the same time, they were here in our state
Where we house all manner of foodstuff and supplies
The phone kept ringing; our community was abuzz
While granny could only admit to her own surprise

We began to hear things about how law enforcement
Were bringing things to the outside of the store
And how when they began rambling with the section
That held the oils, they discovered an extra hidden drawer

Things were no better in the state with the stove tops
And it didn’t take long as they began to explore
For centered around the refrigeration units were
Packages wrapped in tape with implications you could not ignore

One of the things we discovered was our
Business was on the news
They showed footage on both locations
It was hard taking in “News You Can Use”

I watched Uncle flower sitting in a
Police cruiser, with hands to the rear
And then I saw my dad being led out of our store
Which was quite unbelievable and at the same time, clear

I went out to the patio trying to get things figured out
I wanted it prepared like a computer, a debug
But my mind came to one conclusion:
They were looking for and had found drugs

I went back inside thinking of what to say
To grandma, that would pick us up and sound smart
Then I approached her and looked into eyes that
Tried for calm, but what I saw was a mother’s unsettled heart

As it turned out she was right to be troubled
For they had made it a family affair
Of her 4 sons, 2 were implicated, of her 3 daughters 2 were
And we both felt the fundamental scare

Those siblings were espoused to others
So they may get 2 for 1, upon further review
That was at the forefront of my mind
For I wondered, would they get mom with dad too

In the ensuing weeks things that were muddled
Began to be sorted out
With the documentation obtained by investigation
There came to be less and less doubt

As things moved forward different things were addressed
Such as bail, no bail, and electronic GPS
With the defense exerting misunderstanding
While the prosecution asserted a pathological process

Not to mention on a day-to-day basis
Coming into contact with those our family knew
You got everything from: I don’t believe this, to
We’re praying, to people do what they do

Then the detectives tightened screws on
One of the employees who worked for the company
Who filled in information that made things clear
And removed a lot of the deceptional debris

When the defense heard about this they went to dad and
Uncle flower, who realized they had made a mess
And the more they came to terms with the situation
The more they began to acquiesce

Then came sentencing day when the judge
Attacked the actions of grandma’s quartet
Then proceeded to dress down the lesser participants
And yes, mom too got caught in that net

The lesser participants, the spouses and employees
Received sentences of 1-3 years and then
The greater participants received their sentences
Which amounted to anywhere from 5-10

That meant there was an uncle in the neighboring
State and the one a few states over who were free
And an aunt who lived in our state and all the
Incarcerated parents’ children would have to stay with one of the 3

When it was mom’s turn, however minimal
She alluded to her part in those stunts
But that didn’t stop the judge’s reproof
For mom received 18 months

Enduring the year put us back into summer
Which was not like the year before
For when Distant Uncle showed up this
Summer, it was a contrast you could not ignore

Uncle flower’s wife who was not implicated at all
Moved in with grandma with their 3 children
Grandma’s 3rd daughter not implicated took her 2 sisters’
Four children, but us 2 had to go a few states over, to our chagrin

It was difficult leaving our state, the center
Of family, our social network, and school
But as everyone explained, 18 months wasn’t
Very long and adhering to that point was a useful tool

Landscaper Uncle couldn’t step up much for
He was a single father with 4 children of his own
Therefore, for at least 18 months, about 5 states away
With Store Manager uncle, would be where we belonged

Little brother and I went with DU where
We did anticipate cousins, especially the one my age
And when we saw them, I felt tension escape
From my inner pressure gauge

Next our aunt took us to register for school
Which upped my confidence for it’s where I do well
Although we were the same age, I was a grade higher
Than DC, still we all studied together; he benefitted from our counsel

Subsequently, we were studying and DU came in from work and remarked
To his son: Watch him, he thinks he’s so smart
He’s like his father, who studied at the table with my little
Brothers and I can barely tell them apart

I wanted to say something to defend dad, such as,
My dad is smart and your son will be too, on that you can bet
But it was hard to make an argument concerning studying
That didn’t last long for DU hadn’t gotten started yet

Things didn’t get any better from there
Oftentimes, I was left feeling enraged
Now I could feel the tension building up
Within my inner pressure gauge

End of Chapter 1

Recently, I couldn’t study with DC, I had a
Difficult test so I studied with someone on my par
The outcome for me was good, but for DC
Passing his test just wasn’t in his repertoire

The marks came in for our efforts
Mine garnered an exceptional grade
But DC didn’t fair so well, his efforts without
Our usual study, left everyone dismayed

Especially not lost on aunt and uncle, who were
Disappointed with the grade DC received
Still naïve, in light of the grade I had garnered
I was ecstatic with what I had achieved

That evening at dinnertime, still riding high
About my grade…I wore how I felt on my sleeve
But once I sat at the table and they started to talk
It was not hard to figure out the two of them were aggrieved

I tried to explain, my class was just introduced to
Pre-algebra, something I could barely conceive
That I had to spend my time studying with someone who
Knew more than I did, so I wouldn’t underachieve

DU was having none of this and said I was
Getting no food so get my butt up from his chair
When I started to my room, I said he should have helped him
With his homework, then he began to follow me there

Once in my bedroom, the yelling began with, you little
Ingrate, you have to lend your talents to this house
I told him it was my responsibility to make sure
I got my grades right and he punched me dead in the mouth

Crying, I told him he should teach his own son to
Read and write since he wants him to learn so bad
You complained how I think I’m so smart, so you
Teach him, I’m smart from studying with my dad

For that I got hit again and told I don’t tell him
What to do and I’d better do as I’m told
That he would make sure I wouldn’t lead his son
To selling drugs like my father did his brother…this was really bold

Momma’s heart is broken, your father had chances most don’t
So life should not have made him do what he did
And while you hold the view that I’m too stupid to study with my
Son, know I’m smart enough to be at home with my kids

And when I take my children to a play park
We go and have a good time based on my pay
But instead of doing it that way, like our dad did
Scarface is the person he tried to portray

While you’re here, you will help with
What I tell you to help with, Mr. Rent Free
Now let’s make sure you don’t turn out like
Your dad because now you are here with me

I stayed in that room crying, furious at
Being hit and talked to that way
In that moment, I missed everyone back home
And thought how this differed like night and day

It was never this way at home, where when
I presented my grades it was time for celebration
But it was not that way at UD’s house, where
Everything I did was subject to his bastardization

I don’t want to stay here, I wish things hadn’t
Happened like they did; but befitting my tale of woe
Mom and I have been in our private jail for 3 months
And still have 15 more to go

Even so, that night, about 3am once the house
Was asleep, I called grandma, to tell her things weren’t going so well
How DU was always ragging on me about
Something or other when she dropped another bombshell

She explained how our houses were no
Longer ours and were now occupied by someone else
As I thought, my bedroom, the hoop in the backyard
And our refrigerator was gone, I felt totally bereft

After our conversation, I cried even more
Being further crushed by the things she had to say
It wasn’t long before I cried myself to sleep
Thinking about my own personal doomsday

Since they’ve been incarcerated, we have family
Hook-up calls thru grandma’s home phone once a week
Monday evenings is when mom, dad, and us
Boys get together for semblance of a family clique

On this call it seems dad picked up on
My not being as boisterous as I usually am
And although I made sure my little brother got his
Chance to speak, I knew there would be further exam

When a situation is somewhat serious and need to be
Discussed, dad begins it with, Talk To Me
He, who has always had a way with words, coaxed me
Into conversation with, you are gonna have to talk, to be made free

They heard their son begin in a solemn tone, that he no
Longer wanted to be there, and how he missed his home
How in between snippets of conversation, they, especially dad
Knew I was describing his brother so I was not totally alone

At this juncture, mom spoke, saying, we are now nearing
The end of month 4 and how time was passing pretty fast
So we began to harp on the positives but when our call was
Over, all I could think about was the shadow UD cast

UD, who knew about our Monday calls, got in and had
Questions about it and right there our dance was underway
And whereas I didn’t look like one who was severely mugged or
Robbed, this time I didn’t go to school the next day

I knew from talking to grandma that our house was no more
I had never heard anything more clear
And our family talk reinforced that our calendar
Still had 14 months; a little more than a year

With grandma’s house occupied by Uncle flower’s
Family and our grand uncle too
Her 3 bedrooms were pretty well filled and
That realization alone broke my heart into

The hope of living with our aunt had vanished because
She had already accommodated 4 of my cousins
As she already had 2 of her own, I could not fix
Mind or mouth to expand that into a discussion

I wondered if my cousins were as sad as I
I just knew they felt a certain way too
But I also knew they didn’t feel as bad as I did because
They were around grandma so staying down would be hard to do

Looking to a brighter side:
Although DU doesn’t care much for me at all
I have to be thankful that he doesn’t lay into
My little brother and rake him over the coals

Dad says, there are times when you have to
Set your jaw, stand firm, and face the hard rains
Because I was 13yo now I would have to make the
Best of things here until we could make it back home again

Things had died down a bit and gained remnants
Of normalcy, but not enough for me to drop my guard
I knew it would be a matter of time before DU
Would come with more ways to show his disregard

I was very fond of DC, he was my favorite cousin
But keeping his grades up is not an easy feat
Trying to get him to excel in his
Studies is more deservant of a cleat in the seat

When we got our midterm grade, lil brother and
I were holding our own as we usually did
However, DC’s grades left a lot to be desired and there
Was not much I could do to get through to this kid

When I saw his marks, I was as disappointed
As any parent could be
For I knew the dismay to his parents
Would fall not to me, but to him

I was approached by DU as he began, he
Doesn’t know why I am not letting his son succeed
As it got heated, I countered with words such as
Read, your seed, studied, but what I got was a nosebleed

To constantly be belittled by DU was
Beginning to be too much; more than I could take
So I called back home to grandma and came totally clean
Which may have been a mistake

When I arrived home from school
On Monday, DU was already home
It seems he was awaiting our weekly
Family meeting to push this, his little revolution

It was apparent to me that grandma had
Talked to DU to find out what was going on
I envisioned him talking to her like he was some
Sort of angel, though to me he was the devil’s spawn

At 4pm the phone rang and our meeting began
When DU rushed over to put this one on speakerphone
Where he began turning me into a twisted kid suffering from
Separation anxiety or dealing with growing up issues of testosterone

He said he was more than happy extending
Himself in order to help his family
But every time he tells me to do something, it turns
Into an argument that always comes from me

Like when he asks me to help DC with homework
How I walk away mumbling with a frown on my face
Take the garbage out or help auntie with groceries in
Anything, anything I ask becomes an invasion to his airspace

When their grades came out and DC’s grades read mostly D’s
He said how he couldn’t help it if my son has my seed
He couldn’t help it if I didn’t make sure my son learned to effectively read
While he was saying these things, I was looking straight at him and him at me