Sexual abuse is not necessarily about sex, although things of a sexual nature take place. It’s about power. It contains the jonesing, the addiction, the need for domination in taking something away from someone and watching the lack of ability of that person to reveal the theft.
When someone is about to marry, they are willing to tell the world. When an adult has sex with a child, they don’t want anyone to know. Let’s say a child is molested at a park while using the public facilities. That adult perpetrator will not want to be found out. He wants to stay secret. Now let’s say a child is molested in their home on a regular basis by someone they know. That person also wants that secret held. If revealed, both stand the chance of being deemed guilty and put to shame, in the eyes of society and family and friends.
Let us be mindful that most nations permit the degradation of its women and children. Then our one world, under God, Ancient of Days, Jah, Most High, Elohim, and Elohei Mishpat, or whatever your name for him is, the Ultimate Judge, will prevail with His Justice. And on that day, it will be interesting to note a child molester explaining, in the Ultimate Judge’s court, how 3, 6, and 7yo boys and girls wanted you to do that to them. Know that in the comfort of Safety, in Elohim’s Court, these victims will answer with a resounding “No”, that they did not agree with you touching them, no matter how much you, the molester convinces yourself otherwise, here on this earth.
Rape is about power and control. It’s when a person feel they have the right to have control over another person. And that transcends all social and economic situations. And this includes the King of Gasmania who has the power to manipulate the price of oil worldwide and has many servants at his beck and call. Recently and most notably, Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell who felt they could go around trafficking and abusing minors as their hearts dictated with their private jets and private islands. Or the man who flips burgers at Burger Buns. And everyone in between. No one has that right, to exhibit that sort of power over another person, least of all a child.
I don’t hear anyone screaming from the rooftops that they are having sexual relations with 10yos. Rather, they keep that a secret and for their peace of mind, the person that’s abused had better keep your secret too. It is here that the abused has to also carry your shame and guilt. And magnified becomes what the abuse has always seen. By that I mean, we see the perpetrator of child abuse shake hands and smile with the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker, the Indian chief and the Chief of Police, all while sharing friendship. And the abused see this happening…And the molester see you see it too. It re-enforces in the victim’s mind that the molester has credibility that the victim can’t overcome. In reality these people may not care him either and won’t be surprised to hear they are a child molester. But the abused doesn’t see that.
Then it becomes easier, necessary if you will, to carry the guilt and shame than to tell. You who could recite the Preamble to the Constitution, who was the MC for the assembly at the school, who had a starring voice in the concert at the church. The hall monitors, the brothers and sisters who would not fail to tell the principal or a parent that someone was smoking. Still, it is understandable why you failed to lift your voice. Those perceived protective circumstances that appear to surround the abuser lends understanding as to why the victim says nothing, is something that can be understood by the abused that is now an adult. Or by adults in general. Yet, sometimes I still smack my forehead with the heal of my hand and wonder how I could have been so naïve. That naivete helped lead to my shame. I’ve heard it said its like having your own scarlet letter
Think about it. Let’s say you are at school, in class with your fellow students. You get into a little tiff with a classmate. They may say something innocuously childlike such as “that’s why I have this $10 bill and you don’t.” If you are a victim of abuse, you may already feel a bit less than others. Although they don’t know your predicament, you do, your private scarlet letter sewn into your soul that only you can see…you and your abuser. The letter that tells a child that they are better than you, because of another word you learned about; because they are virgins and you are not. And because you can see that letter all the time you begin to think others can see it too. That personal scarlet letter magnifies any real or perceived difference you have from your peers and leads to shame.
To further compound this situation you want stopped, is that you had the power to tell. And more than you, the abuser knows the price. And if the kid, the adult, the male or the female says anything, all deserved or undeserved stature could be lost. For one, there is the risk of jail time. And to go there as a molester is to incur the wrath of the inmates who has daughters on the outside. And they will show you exactly what they think of you. Furthermore, the molester has loved ones – mother, father, siblings, friends and community. And although family sticks with you it may give them pause for thought, for they know you and this may not be the first time they’ve heard something like this about you. If loss of freedom and being suspect by people in their circle isn’t enough, then they also stand to lose their livelihood. It’s funny but there are times when it doesn’t matter if you make $10/hr or $1000/hr but to lose it because you are guilty of compromising your freedom becomes a heavy thought. And guess who pays to carry that guilt. The abused. With isolation. With knowledgeable stares. With beatings. With subtle warnings that are perfectly clear to you. Along with another insight that if you tell you may also be breaking up away from the family you love.
This control, this impairment to your functioning and growth of uninhibited freedom coupled with a certain degree of happiness, frustration and joy from life’s lessons, important firsts, robs you of normality and empowers an abuser with those abnormal qualities for you to inhibit, not unlike guilt and shame. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Fear, guilt, shame, and trauma, these are the sensations experienced by internment camp residents. And behind these sensations, emotions, this terror and dread lie the guards, the Wachmannschaft, the molesters, the abusers that are ever-present and replaces the proper childhood dos and don’ts, instructions, information, edicts, requirements, and directives with garbage. Which brings up another idea. There are clusters of us that excel in our careers. There are bunches of us that become drug addicts. There are gaggles of us that stay home and raise the children. There are clumps of us that fight the system for justice for the abused…worldwide. There are throngs who go about with no hope or direction while lacking knowledge on how to rebound. And there are swarms that touch on all of the above at some point or another. Still, on some level we all belong to the same club; those who are/were abused as children and/or adults. Our members meet in groups all over the world. It could be a good thing for us all, at least once or twice to meet up in one of them. Perhaps you can become and help someone become greater than their fear, guilt, shame, and trauma the child and adult in you know about.