Muhammad Ali! A great fighter with his FISTS. But those weren’t his only weapons. He also had a BIG MOUTH. He won most of his fights either at the signing of the fight, at the weigh-in, before hands were taped, or right before the first bell. When he finished with his victim, they were defeated.
At any one of his before fighting events, you can always hear Ali:
“I’m fast. When I turn the light out to go to bed, I’m in the bed before the light goes out”
“Even if you dream of beating me, you’d better wake up and apologize”
“I’m gonna beat that gorilla in Manila”
“I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee”
And ooh boy, “I am sooo pretty”
What has that to do with a fight? As Muhammad Ali knew, plenty. He knew it would affect the psyche.
Did they train? Yeah, they got up every day and did stuff
Did they eat right? Yeah, they got up every day and ate stuff
Did they have the right gym shorts? They may have been a little tight
They all seemed to be physically fit with muscles just like Ali
We too look like everyone else. But in a lot of ways, like Ali’s victims, victims of abuse share in that propensity for defeat while we are preparing to live our lives from day to day.
Once inside the ring, he would tell his victims, you hit like a girl, or is that all you got? George Foreman, a premier fighter of the day, said, he thought, yep, that’s about all I got. Now, if words and punches can have that effect on Big George then we need not be surprised of the significance, that someone we may actually love, has on us. What they say to us actually matters whether uplifting or tearing you down.
What I mean is: please change that baby and take off that onesie that is brown from pee. Because you know your ABCs now and can’t spell T-H-E, you are the dumbest kid I have ever seen. The only ball I’m gonna buy you is a ball and chain to drown your ass in the river. You two left feet idiot, you can’t dance or play sports. You may as well drop out of school now, get a job at Pump Gas and save the taxpayers money.
What I mean is: oh my little baby, you slept like an angel. You are amazing, I didn’t know my ABCs until I was 4yo. Wow, in your uniform, you look like Michael J or A’ja W. Or how can you graduate next year with 1C, 2Bs, and 2As? After laughing, she let’s them know the grades were now 2Bs and 3As and then back to my straight As.
I am not a Dr. and I do have a disclaimer on this site. But it sounds to me like the 2nd person may be better able to plot a better course in their subsequent rounds of life with things such as education, relationships, jobs, socially, and marriage.
Wait a minute. Some people take ass whippings and verbal abuse but are not beat down. The fists and words of Muhammad Ali beat up and beat down a lot of fighters, save one. Joe Frazier. Ali didn’t intimidate Frazier like he did the rest of them. In one of their fights Ali told Frazier, you’re about to fight God today. Frazier told Ali, then God’s about to get his butt kicked. And although Ali is 2:1 in their 3 fights, Frazier has my heart too. Why? Because even though Frazier was in our shoes of being beat down physically and with words, he would not lay down and be his victim. In fact, he was always a worthy opponent.
Just as you are worthy. And you should never be an opponent as you live in a house with someone. I should happily say unless it was a regular sibling situation that prepares you for future confrontations.
Not something that negatively distorts a healthy psyche. Not something that requires therapy.
Life is a fight. It’s sad that verbal and physical abuse was and is a part of anyone’s life, be it a child or an adult, but know that it is not tantamount to defeat. For even though the first rounds netted blackeyes, whips and welts, busted lips, and terrible conversations that left you deflated, does not mean the later rounds of your life will not net you wins. Many a victor has taken a beating in the earlier rounds only to raise their hand in the end for the win. Ali, a victor, knew about that too.