I’m currently writing an article on confinement. As a sidebar, I’m going to talk about trust.
Trust – firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength in someone or something.
There is the trust of a child, a spouse or a client. And there are betrayals of trust, which leads to mistrust. Mistrust could elicit being on guard all the time. And whereas I am an advocate of having your key out and ready whether entering the car or house door, your mistrust points to everyone. The person that delivers your groceries, your neighbors, or people walking down the street.
We learned a few years ago of an ultimate betrayal. It concerned one Scott Peterson and his wife who was happily awaiting the arrival of her first child. Scott was not. He killed her and then put them both in the ocean. She paid an enormous price. She cannot overcome the trust she gave.
Let’s say a man leaves a will to care for his loved ones upon his death. And his best friend, his lawyer misappropriates the funds and the family suffer. Let’s say he gambles a lot of it away. We may trust that a walk to the store won’t result in an attack but it happens. Still, to throw trust to the curb should not be acceptable because trust is essential to any relationship; it lends peaceful co-existence. For a long time, I used the perspective that you can trust me but I wont trust you…worked for me.
When Scott Peterson killed his wife and unborn son that was 180⁰ from what a husband should be. She paid. We all pay. We all fall. The consequences run the gamut of skinned knees to resuscitations needed. I think we are the latter. What we then have to realize is that there is blind trust and wise trust. Let’s realize it may not be wise to walk to the store alone after dark. That’s wise. Now I know that’s not addressing situations such as your putting the key in the door to your safe haven and someone had already broken in and was already waiting in this place you trusted, but I’m talking to you too. And a spouse having an affair can be devastating. These things certainly have the propulsion to put you on Mistrust Ave. But to say you are going live on there, no, no, no.
Once trust is betrayed you really never trust the same again. Especially if it was on the call the ambulance level, living on Mistrust Ave. Being in that cell is a pretty rotten sentence. It is not a productive thing and it stunts your growth. That is when you have to realize you have to use wise trust. Wise things are those that are contemplated and not decisions made on a whim. When you have to grow. However, a child will trust blindly, no wisdom needed and none expected. Then may life and hopefully beautiful parents be there to explain the perils of being naive. It is quite the gift to grow and not be so privy to the deception and hurt of the betrayals of trust.
Still for those of us with skinned knees and broken limbs, we are now called to live our lives with wise trust. In actuality, that is a gift for we are no longer blind or so naïve. And on our travels, should the deception of someone rear its ugly head again we should be wise enough not to sit on the side of the road (too long) boo hooing. And also, don’t forget that our journey does still entail wonderful experiences of blind trust. That is, you trusted that the birth of a loved one would be a healthy one. You trust that your visit to a loved one would be a safe arrival, and the same for those that visit you; enjoy those relationships. There are many good things to be grateful for without labeling it as devastating because it came to you. And know, anything less than safe visits and happy arrivals can be devastating to anyone, it is not an indictment against you.
And don’t forget to let your wisdom guide you in your firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. Know that you will always be confronted with both, blind and wise trusts. So as soon as you can, refuse to centralize, to live, on the trust betrayed. Be Smart.